We’re finally getting into the real stuff of this season now that the petty drama is behind us. This is the episode where we get to see the consequences of Zoey getting cut off and I’m here for it. I wasn’t able to live tweet this episode but I’m so ready for this recap.
Let’s get into it.
We start off the episode with Zoey’s monologue about how bad things come in three. Sis really said she was “betrayed” by her best friend and boyfriend. Forever the drama queen.
Then she starts talking about the cheating scandal and being cut off. After all that, she goes on about how she’s expecting her dad to send her a guilt gift to make up for everything, only to find her car getting towed.
Zoey tries texting her dad, Dre, and he responds with a series of NOPEs. Apparently, he doesn’t even love her anymore. Then as a plan B, she texts her mom, Bow. She tells Zoey that this is hurting Dre way more than it’s hurting her. Then Bow sends Zoey the Dre crying gif and I was sent. That’s a whole mood.
Zoey sits down with the twins and Nomi to talk about her situation. Turns out, she’s barely cut off. Her parents are still paying for tuition, housing, and books. It’s not that serious, sis.
Jazz and Sky tell Zoey to get a job in their cute little clapping way. She brings up the Zoey Johnson Styling Experience and they tell her to get a real job. Nomi chimes in with this one and Jazz calls her out on it.
The girls bring her to the job posting board and suggest a few things she can do. Zoey is acting all high and mighty, talking about how she can’t walk dogs in Givenchy. Sky tells her she needs to change her clothes and fix her life. Then Zoey starts talking about the espresso machine at Teen Vogue or whatever. She was acting like such a brat.
Jazz suggests Zoey harvest her eggs. They’re offering twenty grand for it but Zoey doesn’t think it’s worth it.
Vivek and Doug’s friendship is honestly so cute. They really just out here. Vivek’s basically counting Doug’s calories, talking about how he wants him to take care of himself.
Aaron and Ana come over to say hi, post hook-up. Aaron calls the boys out for their dry spells, which Doug denies. Vivek admits to his dry spell and brings up the Titan Challenge. Ana hasn’t heard about the challenge before. Vivek explains that you’re not a real titan until you’ve smashed under the titan shield.
Luca got Zoey a job at some high end salon and she puts on her YSL heels to go. Talk about spoiled. Do you know how much Yves Saint Lauren anything costs?!
Nomi, Jazz, and Sky are chilling, having some flavored popcorn or something when Zoey comes back from her first day of work. Apparently it’s also her last day. She got fired in the first four hours, wild.
Jazz and Sky bring up how their cousin Speedy got fired after forty-five minutes working at Pep Boys. Their family is something else. Nomi offers Zoey the floor of shame to spill the tea on how she got fired.
Apparently, Zoey was styling the mannequin when she should have been folding, and then refolding. Her boss was not a fan of Zoey’s comments and Zoey wasn’t a fan of her boss. She made the mistake of flipping the bird without realizing there was a whole floor length mirror there. Needless to say, her boss was not amused.
Jazz brings up the egg harvesting again, but Zoey’s still not down.
Aaron and Ana check out the shield and all it’s funkyness. They have a plan to take on the Shield Challenge under the cover of night. Ana’s gonna be sure to bring sanitizer and lots of hit.
Zoey got a job getting paid $25 an hour to sit in a box in a sparkly dress and pink wig as human art. While she’s doing her weird art thing, she spots Nomi making out with their old Gender Studies professor.
Nomi and Zoey step outside to talk about it. Zoey’s going off about how wrong it is and Nomi calls Zoey out on how judgmental she is. Then Zoey asks why it’s such a secret in the first place if there’s nothing wrong with them being together. It’s a whole mess.
Zoey ends up quitting the human art job. She brings in her textbooks to the bookstore for some fast cash and Doug gives her $38 for them. That was straight facts. College textbooks are a scam.
Zoey says she needs more money and Doug tells her the bookstore is hiring. She responds with “Ewww” and he says he didn’t realize she was on her bougie tip. Doug tells her off about how she should have been doing her job instead of looking for short cuts to the top in the first place.
In the end, Zoey gets a job at the bookstore and starts taking it seriously. She helps a girl find some cute tank tops while she’s at it. Zoey sends a picture of her working to her dad and he’s proud of her, but she’s still cut off.
Ana and Aaron back out of the Shield Challenge. They head to Ana’s place to hookup instead. Since they didn’t get to etch their initials under the shield, Aaron writes them onto Ana’s lampshade. She gets super excited and tells him their couple name can be Double A. Aaron gets this weird look about it but doesn’t let on.
The end scene is Vivek trying to end his dry spell and get the Shield Challenge done. A girl actually offers to help him out with it after he says he’s on the basketball team.
There were so many parts of this episode where I was just tired of Zoey. She was being so unnecessarily bratty. Someone on Twitter said this is low key Dre and Bow’s faults for spoiling her so much. Even then, Zoey’s been in college a whole year and she still has yet to learn from her mistakes.
Nomi and Professor Hawson being a thing is not it for me. I still can’t get over the fact that she’s a whole professor. Nomi could get this woman fired for this. That’s next level scandalous.
Aaron was acting real weird about the couple name. It’s almost as if he’s not trying to be in an actual relationship with Ana. I don’t get this at all considering how last episode he looked like he was really into her. Guess we’ll just find out next week.